Marriage is a hands-on illustration of what our relationship with God can be like. This precious gift was given to mankind before sin entered the world in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:18-25). God intended that marriage would enhance both the man and the woman. It was His intention that the two individuals would become one just as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are One. "Let Us make man in Our image" (Genesis 1:26) was His desire.
Divorce is the destruction of this beautiful gift God has given us, so we must not take divorce lightly. As Christians we must do all we can to exhaust every possible source of help before contemplating the destruction of this gift from God.
Having said this, let me be clear: God will not bless sin. If you are in an abusive relationship, you need to get out and get help. Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated, intimidated, or cajoled into believing this is God’s will. It is not! God’s intention is for healthy individuals to join their lives together in order to bring God glory through their loving kindness toward each other, and that they might produce godly offspring who will learn to love Him.
By the way, contrary to what the media is saying, sex is not for recreation – but for bonding in this intimate relationship that is to last all your life. This is why God reserves this sharing experience for the marriage relationship only.
Here are some Bible texts for your study…
Gen 2: 21-25 Foundational to this discussion is the fact that God made us for long-term commitment ("cleaving") in relationships.
Deut 22:19 They shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the girl's father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives. (NIV)
Deut 22:29 he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives. (NIV)
Deut 24:1 If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, (NIV)
Deut 24:3 and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, (NIV)
Isa 50:1 This is what the LORD says: "Where is your mother's certificate of divorce with which I sent her away? Or to which of my creditors did I sell you? Because of your sins you were sold; because of your transgressions your mother was sent away. (NIV)
Jer 3:8 I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. Yet I saw that her unfaithful sister Judah had no fear; she also went out and committed adultery. (NIV)
Mal 2:16 "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith. (NIV)
Matt 1:19 Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. (NIV)
Matt 5:31 "It has been said, `Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' (NIV)
Matt 19:3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" (NIV)
Matt 19:7,8 "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. (NIV)
Mark 10:2 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" (NIV)
Mark 10:4 They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away." (NIV)
1 Cor 7:11,12 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. (NIV)
1 Cor 7:27 Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. (NIV)
As you study these texts, ask yourself to be truly honest in your heart. Is it God’s will that I stay in this relationship? Is it safe? Is this home a place where angels can enjoy? Is there anything I can do to make this relationship more like what God would want it to be? Am I looking for a way out? Am I genuinely wanting God to transform me to be more like Jesus, or do I just want out?
There are worse things than divorce. God hates divorce, but He also hates having His kids destroyed emotionally, physically, or spiritually. He does not take it lightly when someone abuses His child. Divorce is a LAST resort. Don’t wait until there is no other option before getting help from a godly Christian counselor.
God bless you in your study, your marriage, and your life. -Pastor Bob
PO Box 5,
Yakima, WA 98907